Written by Grandmaster Caprio
One of the goals for a martial artist is to seek to find harmony through their training throughout their life.
For some martial artists, as well as many other people, finding a mate in harmony with the same philosophy might seem a little daunting. So how does one acquire this harmony with their new mate?
What is this “harmony”? Is it not the ultimate end of what you are trying to accomplish or seek in a long term relationship as well as everything else in life? Is it not the balance of the body, mind, and sprit in which one might find in another, together as one?
“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” ― Aristotle
So how does a martial artist, or anyone for that matter, balance the physical, mental, and spiritual in a long term relationship? How does anyone reach or acquire harmony with their chosen mate?
You must understand yourself before you can understand others. What you leave behind in life you always must go back and get, in order to, have balance and harmony. The easiest example of this point, to help you understand, is look at all the people you know that are in a happy relationship and those that have ended in an unhappy state of affairs. The difference between happy and unhappy is in the harmony of the physical, mental and spiritual aspect and characteristics of the traditions and values of both individuals.
Let us try to come up with a series of practical questions that can be used to evaluate the compatibility of 2 individuals trying to come together in harmony and balance like the yin and yang and that can last for a lifetime.
This is the first of a number of series of Defunkin’ The Funk Blog posts we are going to share about once a month to help you find, achieve, and sustain harmony with your chosen mate.
For this series, the category will be “DIFFERENCES IN RACE & FAMILY TRADITIONS”
The following is a list of pertinent questions to help identify and recognize important issues that would get in the way of acquiring a high level of harmony between you and your chosen mate. In my humble opinion, both people should seek to answer these questions as honestly as possible.
1. Have opposing ideas about differences in race and family traditions been a factor in the break-up of a relationship in your past?
2. Has a disparity in race and family traditions been a source of strain and stress for your love-life in the past?
3. Growing up to adulthood, how did your family feel about the differences in the race and family traditions of your friends and neighbors?
4. Regarding race and family traditions, are you aware of your own deep and preconceived prejudice, if any exists, and what does it discriminate against personally? What is its origin?
5. As a child growing up, describe the lessons you were taught about the differences between various family traditions of the different races?
6. Of the beliefs that you have acquired from childhood, are there any that you still hold onto? What are they, specifically? Name them.
7. If one of your children were dating somebody of a different race and with different family traditions, would you accept that? What if the person they were dating were the same sex? How about if they expressed to you that they plan to get married? Could you be happy for them?
8. If you had to put a number on a scale from 1-10, to measure the similarity of family traditions and other cultural practices between you and your chosen mate, what would it be, 10 being the most similar and 1 being the least? In my humble opinion, both people should answer this question (and all of the above) openly and honestly.
Remember To Follow Your Own Path and if you like this article, please Like it and don’t forget to Share it with someone you know that might need it!
Next month look for Series 2 and more questions to ask to “Finding Zen In A Life Long Relationship”