This is the second of a number of series of Defunkin’ The Funk Blog posts we are going to share about once a month to help you find, achieve, and sustain harmony with your chosen mate.
For this series, the category will be “DIFFERENCES IN RELIGION”
One of the goals for a martial artist is to seek to find harmony through their training throughout their life.
For some martial artists, as well as many other people, finding a mate in harmony with the same philosophy might seem a little daunting. So how does one acquire this harmony with their new mate?
What is this “harmony”? Is it not the ultimate end of what you are trying to accomplish or seek in a long term relationship as well as everything else in life? Is it not the balance of the body, mind, and sprit in which one might find in another, together as one?
“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” ― Aristotle
So how does a martial artist, or anyone for that matter, balance the physical, mental, and spiritual in a long term relationship? How does anyone reach or acquire harmony with their chosen mate?
You must understand yourself before you can understand others. What you leave behind in life you always must go back and get, in order to, have balance and harmony. The easiest example of this point, to help you understand, is look at all the people you know that are in a happy relationship and those that have ended in an unhappy state of affairs. The difference between happy and unhappy is in the harmony of the physical, mental and spiritual aspect and characteristics of the traditions and values of both individuals.
Let us try to come up with a series of practical questions that can be used to evaluate the compatibility of 2 individuals trying to come together in harmony and balance like the yin and yang and that can last for a lifetime.
The following is a list of pertinent questions to help identify and recognize important issues that would get in the way of acquiring a high level of harmony between you and your chosen mate. In my humble opinion, both people should seek to answer these questions as honestly as possible.
1. Would you think about yourself as being a religious or spiritual person?
2. Is life after death a possibility in your belief system?
3. What does the word or concept of a deity mean to you personally? Do you believe in God or a supreme being?
4. Did you and your family members go to a church, synagogue, mosque, or other temple during your upbringing?
5. Are you practicing any particular religion and how important is it to you and your life?
6. Are you practicing a different religion from the one you and your family members practiced growing up?
7. Do you perform some form of religious custom on a daily or regular basis?
8. Do you perform any form of spiritual practice that is not associated with one of the major organized religions on a daily or regular basis?
9. Does your current belief system prohibit or insist on any behaviors, such as requiring compulsory sexual, social, or dietary practices that would be an issue for your partner.
10. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being highest, how essential is it for you that your partner shares your personal religious beliefs?
11. In a situation where you and your spouse or significant other practice different religions or have differing beliefs about spirituality, how essential is it for you that your children should be raised with the same belief system as yours?
12. Have opposing ideas about religion ever been a factor in the break-up of a relationship in your past?
Chapter 9, “The 10 Capkido Codes Of Conduct” here is an excerpt from my book,
“How Not To Be Young And Stupid” of course, to get the whole idea or you need to read the complete chapter.
I go any further I would like to say that I am not condoning any religion to anyone but in the same breath I will say this information is found in a lot of religious books. You don’t have to become a holy man, priest, or a deacon or pray to acquire a very simple variation of the above information. So let’s back up a little bit and talk about the Golden rule of life. Simply stated the Golden rule of life is “treat people the same way that you want them to treat you.” You’ve probably heard this before I would think. Now you’re saying: that’s more like it. Keep it super simple. Yes, but I would like to take it a little further and give you a short but specific set of rules to live by.
There are 10 of them. I would like to think that you have heard of a couple of them if not all of them. Well my young friend if you treat people according to the 10 Commandments you will accomplish all of the above. You do not have to let anybody know how you became a good, happy, and productive individual. I am not going to list at this time in this writing the 10 Commandments of God. It is not my job nor is it my intention to push you toward any religion; rather I am talking about a philosophy or way of being. No my young friend, it’s up to you to go online or to any church that has the 10 Commandments and acquire them if you so choose. Learn the ones that make sense to you and be true to them and you will have accomplished the goal of righteously living the Golden Rule. I would rather you choose to read my book, “How Not To Be Young And Stupid”
Next month look for Series 3 and more questions to ask to “Finding Zen In A Life Long Relationship”